This Is For The Lovers

For all my in the world...or at least the ones that will know what the hell I'm talking about...Happy Sweetest Day! Today, I'm not gonna really blog because I'm too busy spending time with my Boo.

We had our gift exchange...I got a really sweet purple (my favorite color) blanket with pink hearts and singing monkeys on it and it was all wrapped up in it's very own monkey with Velcro strap hands as well as a card that read "There's no one I rather make people sick with than you" (we have a few haters...is that still a word?)...I made him a gift basket filled with his favorite things...Black & Milds, Swisher Sweets, lighters and M & Ms....

Now it's time to put the kids to bed and enjoy the rest of the night together...

Peace LOVE & Soul...

Song of the Night - If This World Were Mine by Luther Vandross & Cheryl Lynn

2008 Terms of Endearment

Ladies...Ladies...Ladies...I don't know where we came up slipping, or which rapper made us feel like this shit was acceptable, but nowadays we answer to shit like this:

That's my bitch. That's my hoe. She a down ass bitch. She's my freak. Bust it Baby. My piece.

You know what I'm getting at. I let my dude label my picture on his old MySpace page "My new bitch." I actually thought the shit was cute for a minute...But once reality soaked in I thought to myself...In the heat of an argument, him calling me a bitch won't be so cute. I'll be ready to cut his ass when all along he's only calling me something that I've allowed him to call me since the beginning...So what I guess I'm saying is...If we don't respect ourselves...why in the hell should they?



Recommended listening:



I Love My Bitch - Busta Rhymes feat./ Will.I.Am & Kelis
Me and My Bitch (Live) - Notorious B.I.G.
Bust It Baby - Plies
Bust It Baby Pt. 2 - Plies feat./ Ne-Yo
Down Ass Bitch - Ja Rule
Down 4 U - Ja Rule, Ashanti, Charli Baltimore & Vita

My Computer VS. Big Daddy

Sometimes I think I spend more time on my computer than I do quality time with my man. It's the technology that's to blame. When I first started out on CollegeClub.com and BlackPlanet.com I was mediocre at HTML. But now things are so easy, I don't have to memorize all those codes. It's nothing for me to make my photo my background, or put all my favorite music on my page. Now even when I'm working or doing research, it seems as if I'm being a computer whore. I just can't help it. At least he's my number one friend on MySpace!

Golden Gems

Has anyone ever said some shit so crazy to you that you wanted to quote them every chance you get? In a recent argument with my sister, one which will permanently fray our relationship, she said some things to me that I will remember for the rest of my life. Here are a few of her golden gems:

"You love other kids more than you love your own."

"When that nigga dogs you, and he will dog you, don't call me."

"Why would you let his father see him, he doesn't even love him."

"You always dog your family for your friends and your boyfriends."

"Somebody's going to call CSB on you."

Now, where I'm from all that was said would be considered fighting words, but at 27, I refuse to fight my younger sister. But she has started a war and the gloves are most definitely off...

Middle of the Night Blog-Worthy

Wow...sometimes things get so intense that talking about them just can't wait until morning. Can anyone out there in cyber space recall those "You Might Be A Redneck" jokes Jim Foxworthy used to tell. Well, I got a few of those of my own. But, I wanna call mine "Your Family Might Be Dysfunctional If," and mine ain't jokes.

Your Family Might Be Dysfunctional If:

1. People in your family conspire to take your child away.
2. They smile in your face, then go behind your back and talk about you.
3. They tell you that you love other kids more than you love your own.
4. People in your family try to convince your child that he/she wants to live with them.
5. They come into your home and smile at your mate's face, but secretly hate their soul.


Look this is just getting started. I'll have more to come. The last thing I have to say is...Et tu Brute?

Conflicted

I feel bad even talking baout this shit, but it's crazy. My baby daddy done got himself in some real trouble. He will be incarcerated. What's crazy is this: Should I be mad that I won't get child support anymore or that my son won't see his dad for like a long ass time. I really feel in my heart that I'm more upset about my child support. That was my primary income...now I feel like Florida Evans...Damn, Damn, Damn!! In the world today...with this economy, I need that CHISUP! What is an unemployed college graduate to do in George W's society?

Never Say Never!

I'm 27 years old, and in my 27 years there have been several occassions when I have said that I would never do something. Then much to my surprise, things change, and I do that exact same thing that I say I'll never do. That's why people shouldn't judge. I've judged people and then done the same stupid thing they've done. I know everybody wants to know what I'm talking about, so I'll get on with the juice.

After a recent disagreement with the love of my life, I totally bitched out. He packed his bags and gave me the silent treatment. What do I do? I react like all the girls I say that I'll never act like. I scream, I cry, I throw myself at his feet. This shit is crazy. If anybody has ever heard the song "Green Eyes" by Erykah Badu (click above on Never Say Never! to hear song), they know what I'm talking about. I went through all the stages plus some of my own. Denial. Sorrow. Anger. Humor. Poetry. Reverse psychology. The shit was rough. Or I should say it still is rough. This is happening as we speak, and I'm waiting for him to unpack his bags. He hasn't left yet, and I don't want him to. I've noticed that he's placed his toothbrush back in the holder in the bathroom, but I don't want to be too hopeful.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that crying and begging are two less things that I can say that I've never done. Instead of continuing to add to the list that used to include giving head and dating men with children, I've decided to never say never again.

I'm Back....

It's been so long...have my people forgotten about me? Is there still room for The Science in a world where 2 year olds have their own blog. Did anybody miss me? I'm back in full effect and I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon!

Laine's Semi Annual Awards

So ya'll the year is half over...six more months to go. There have been a lot of things that have caught my interest these past few months, and of course I'll use my wit to share them with you. These are Laine's Semi-Annual Awards...

Not-So Token Black

Starr Jones-Reynolds. If you were like me, you read this in the tabloids months ago and weren't surprised when the irritatingly-outspoken Mrs. Jones-Reynolds got booted from The View couch. And she ain't being replaced by a sista...Babwa Wawa ain't no fool!

Trend in Television

Cooking Shows. Not just cooking shows, but reality competition cooking shows, and I'm not talking Iron Chef. I mean Super Double Dare Physical Challenge type of shows. I enjoyed Hell's Kitchen last year, and I watch it religiously this year, but I can't fit The Next Food Network Star and Bravo's Top Chef into my schedule. Plus they don't have the Chef Ransey, the Simon Cowell of the kitchen.

Guilty Pleasure

Yo Mama. MTV and Wilmer Valderamez have teamed up to show America what we ghetto children been doin' all our lives. Crackin'. Snappin'. Cuttin'. Whatever you call it, the shit is funny. My favorite joke - "Yo mama so cross-eyed that yo daddy left her cuz she was seein' somebody on the side!"

Insult of the Year

An absent Beyonce at The Legend's Ball. Did Oprah not invite her, or did she decline the invite. Ashanti's non-singing ass was there, so I know Beyonce should've been. Either way one of them shunned the other.

Word I'm Tryna Understand

Hyphy. What? I just learned how to crunk. Now I gotta learn a new dance and a new word.

Rated G Show (G as in Gay as hell - not that there's anything wrong with that)

So You Think You Can Dance. I was watching this show with my friend, DP, and he brought it to my attention. The is not a heterosexual male being on that show. Way too many screams, turns, curtsies, and pirouettes. There's only two hip-hips dancers, one screams like a bitch, and the other wears tight pants.

What the ...?

What does this mean: Outkast feat. Big Boi? Is that possible?

Sports Moment

Watching World Champion Heat Coach Pat Riley dance to Yung Joc's "It's Goin' Down" during the Heat Parade in Miami.

You Go Girl

Stephanie Wilson. The second Black woman crazy enuff to go into space. Nothing more to say about that.

Best Prop

India.Arie's wig. She performs her new track "I Am Not My Hair" wearing this mini dress and this long wig looking like Crazy-In-Love Beyonce. Then once she gets into it she throws the wig off to reveal her bald head. That's hot.

Moment In My City

June Floods. As everyone knows by know I'm from Toledo, Ohio. People from here always find a way to embarrass us. Last year it was Katie Holmes. This year the floods. Why is Toledo crying for FEMA assistance. That's a slap in the face to the Katrina victims if you ask me. Cut the shit Carty!

Shunned By Blacks

The Boondocks. It's been almost a year and I have yet to understand while Black people are so offended by The Boondocks. Its just a cartoon damn! Besides we been laughin' at white folks for years. You do remember The Simpsons and Family Guy and American Dad...shall I go on?

My Favorite People

Rappers. I am impressed. No feuds. No Beefs. Jay-Z signed Nas. Lil' Kim got outta jail early. Good job rappers. Keep up the good work!

Okay onto the music...

Best Dance Track - Female

Getting Some Head - Shawna. I know, I know. This song is raunchy as hell, but when the Deejay spins this, there isn't a woman in her seat.

Best Dance Track - Male

Touch it - Busta Rhymes. Always creative, Busta has brought us another hot one.

Song I Just Don't Like

Deja Vu - Beyonce feat. Jay-Z. Call me a hater if you want. All my real friends know how much I love her. I just don't love all her songs.

Break Up Track

Back Like That - Ghostface Killah feat. Ne-Yo. Why he always gettin' played? Remember 2003's "Never Be The Same Again" feat. Carl Thomas?

Cheater Track

Unfaithful - Rhianna. This is a hot one. If you can compare cheating on your mate to murder, yousa bad one! I don't want no love like that!

Delusional (Stalker) Track

In My Mind - Heather Headley. It's OVER! That's all I gotta say.

Colabo

So What - Field Mobb Twins feat. Ciara. This song is so damn cute. All girls that have to defend their relationship can relate.

Grind In Da Club Track

I'm N Luv (Wit A Stripper) - 2 The Remix - T-Pain feat. R. Kelly, Pimp C, Too Short, Twista, and Paul Wall. All I gotta say is I LOVE KELLS!!

Bump N' Grind Mixtape Track

Do What It Do - Jamie Foxx. I haven't heard a mixtape without the song on it. Ray Charles even got it on his mixtape in Heaven! (I'm goin to Hell for sayin' that ain't I?)

Love Song - Female

I'm still In Love - Tyra. Reminds me of being "in love" for the first time, and the second, and the third... I have to sing this everytime I hear it. Don't know shit but the chorus!

Love Song - Male

Yo - Chris Brown. Puppy love is so sweet. Doesn't this remind you of B2K before Omarion got grown and started talking about "O"?

Had To Grow On Me

Impossible - Kanye West & Twista feat. Keshia Cole. Kanye samples. Twista can't be understood. Keshia whines. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen right? At first it was, but this Mission Impossible: 3 theme has grown on me. Plus you gotta give it to Kanye for successfully sampling Perry Como.

And our final music award is (drum roll please):

Music Quote of the Last Six Months

R. Kelly. "I must be the first man to fall in love wit a ass/I wanna get down on one knee and ask that ass to marry me..." Ya'll see why I love kells. He's the only singer that can get away with saying anything...and doing anything...


Well, people, that's all for now. I had fun making fun of celebrities and current events as usual. I hope you enjoyed today's blog. In the words of the great Tyra Banks, "Lata!"