Just Like a Woman

I know, I know, I have been neglecting you all. But guess what? I have a new man in my life. He's jealous of this great force called the internet so he asked me to stop making so much love to my computer. He keeps me out the house, and keeps me busy. I'm sorry ya'll. He'll be at work on Thursday, so I'll sneak on and tell you guys everything!

Laina's 05 Picks

I'm such a copy cat. Everyone else have given there 2005 picks, so I wanna give mine, too.

Best Impersonation by a Female
Beyonce as Tina Turner at the Kennedy Center Honors. I was very impressed. Girlfriend had it down to the hair toss.

Best Impersonation by a Male
Nelly as LL Cool J at the VH1's Hip Hop Honors. The abs were so tight, I coulda swore it was Ladies Love himself.

Best "Ography" in a Video
Touch by Omarion. Wherever he found that girl in the video, he needs to keep her on staff, or hire Ciara.

Best Performance by a Female
Janet Jr...oops, I mean Ciara. This sister be rollin' her hips and poppin' and 1,2 steppin'. I even had to talk about her in a poem I wrote. I need her to teach me sum moves.

Best Performance by a Male
Omarion. From the BET Awards to the Billboards, this cat is giving Usher a run for his money.

Dumbest Song I Can't Help But Dance Too
Laffy Taffy by D4L. I found myself at the club shaking my Laffy Taffy to this dumb ass track and by the time I realized it, the song was over.

Dumbest Shit on TV
All dance shows. Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, I'm even dissappointed in Soul Train.

Most Boring Interview
Beyonce. She doesn't tell nuthin, she's stiff, and it's even worse when them otha two girls is wit her.

Most Interesting Interview
Jamie Foxx. I love him. He funny all the time. But he's not goofy funny, he's sexy funny.

Weirdest Occurance
Making the Band 3. Puffy made a band, but the remain nameless and songless.

Best Reunion
Envogue at the Hip Hop Honors. Where have these ladies been? I was dying to hear "Hold On" or "What's It Gonna Be."

Most Posh Hip Hop Event
The Vibe Awards. They went all the way mainstream this year. There was a red carpet show on E!, there were tons of white folk, and everyone dressed in gowns and tuxes.

Best Acceptance Speech
Kanye West at the Grammys. Most would expect this to go to Jamie Foxx and his Oscar speech, but I am very proud that Mr. West didn't go postal at the award show.

Best Catchphrase
"Hell to da naw." I love Whitney for this one. I even tried to get this airbrushed on a shirt.

Odd Couple
Bow Wow and Ciara. Isn't she taller than him? Maybe it's just me, but I'm uncomfortable with a short man. Plus, she's like a woman, and he's like an 8 year old.

Oddly Normal Couple
Nas and Kelis. As weird as they are together, they got married and have managed to stay out of the limelite.

Most Overplayed Track Female
Don't cha by the Pussycat Dolls. If he wanted a girlfriend like you, he'd find one.

Most Overplayed Track Male
Candy Shop by 50 Cent. As much as I liked this song, I have to admit that it's nuthin but Magic Stick without Lil' Kim.

Best Break-Up Song
Shake You Off by Mariah Carey. As disgusted as I was with her last year, I gotta give it to her for giving us this one.

Best Rap Dance Track
Play by David Banner. I didn't understand this song at first. My 16 year old sister explained it to me, and I've liked it ever since.

Best R&B Dance Track
Touch by Omarion. This track is hot to death. I saw the video first and I tied to dance like that girl all summer.

Best Rock Dance Track
You're Speaking My Language by Juliette and the Licks. If you know who Juliette Lewis is you know how crazy she is. This track is just as crazy.

Unpromoted Artist of the Year
Floetry. I don't know how I found out about their album, but once I found out, I fell in love. That CD is da bomb!

Where were you?
India.Arie. My family is sick of me playing Voyage To India.
Kelly Price. Lost all that weight, now she don't wanna sing.
D'Angelo. I thought he had this every five year thing going on...he's late.

Best Region for New Music
The South. The South produced a lot of music, good and bad, in 2005. Chamillionaire, Paul Wall, Bobby Valentino, Brooke Valentine and Jamie Foxx just to name a few.

Saddest Song
"When I'm Gone" by Eminem. I'm sure Hailie Jade doesn't want to hear a song about her father dying.

Best Solo Artist Since Beyonce
Gwen Stefani. I love No Doubt, but her solo project was among my favorite albums this year.

Trend of the Year
Having babies. I know it's the Age of Aquarius and that makes people a lot more horney, but damn. Everybody had a baby. Even I gave in and had a baby.

You're Making Us Look Bad
Lil' Kim. Not that she was serving as any kinda role model before, but now she is really making women and Black folks look bad.
Katie Holmes. That girl ain't doing a damn thang to help Toledo's image. People didn't know wheer we were, not that they know they probably think we're all crazy.

I think I'll stop here. All I do all day is talk about people, so I know I can go on all day. I'll quit while I'm ahead.

He made me do it...

I was reading the blog of one of my close friends and I stumbled across this survey. I can't resist answering surveys, but I'm blaming it on him anyway. Aliasthug made me do it!

Are you gonna wait to have sex until you are married?	Nah...too late for that
Whats your favorite thing to drink?	Vodka
Whats your favorite clothing brand?	Adidas
Who do you think is the most hottest celebrity?	Nelly
Are you a bible hugger?	No
Do you like little kids?	Only my little kid
Are you addicted to anything?	Apple black n milds
What are your pet peeves?	Snotty nosed babies
What are your turn- ons?	Authority, country (Southern) accents
Turn- downs?	Bad breath, anyone shorter than me (I'm kinda short)
Whats song do you listen to the most?	My Place - Tweet & Love for Free - Rell are a tie
Whats your favorite thing to do?	Kiss my son
Whats your favorite fast-food place?	McDonalds
Do you think your tough?	No...maybe over the phone
Have you ever beat up someone?	Of course...at least I think I did
Doritos or Pringles?	Doritos
Do you brush your teeth regularly?	Yes
Tight fitting jeans or loose fitting jeans?	Tight
Favorite pair of shoes?	Yellow Jordans I got in 2002
What are you wearing right now?	Red sweatshirt and black lounge pants
How many people do you have a crush on right now?	Three
Are you a player?	I'm tryna recover
Are you racist?	No...I'm too close to both sides
If you could.......
Take back anything what would it be?	Ruining every vehicle my son's father drives
Go anywhere in the world right now for a week where would it be?	Rome to study
Go skydiving tomorrow would you be afraid to?	Yes
Make a wish right now, what would you wish for?	Heat in my car
Get a job right now... where would you wanna work?	African American History Museum in Detroit
Spend a million dollars what would you spend it on?	My family
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

The Saga Ends

The Closer series comes to end. I got new inspiration for volumes III and IV. That Detroit thing didn't work out so well, but sumthin else did. So I give you Closer III: Ecstacy (explicit) and Closer IV: loveme.

Closer III

1 X - JaRule f./ Missy and Tweet
2 Oh Na Na Na Na - Lil John f./ Oobie
3 I Can Tell - 504
4 You Already Know - 112
5 Signs of Lovemaking - Tyrese
6 Seduction - Usher
7 Do What It Do - Jamie Foxx
8 My Place - Tweet
9 On Top of Me - Tyrese
10 Xtasy - Missy
11 C'mere - Bilal
12 T-Shirt - Destiny's Child
13 Cab Ride - Tweet
14 Touchin' - R. Kelly f./ Nivea
15 When We Make Love - Ginuwine
16 Pushin' Inside You - Sons of Funk
17 Naked - Marques Houston
18 Juicy - Pretty Ricky f./ Static
19 Get It Wet - Twista

Closer IV

1 I Think I Love You - Dwele
2 Love of My Life - Erykah Badu f./ Common
3 I Still Love You - 702
4 I Love U - Making the Band 3, Season 1
5 Make Love - Angie Stone f./ Musiq
6 Love For Free - Rell f./ Jay - Z
7 Unbreakable - Alicia Keys
8 Feel Like Makin' Love - D'Angelo
9 Good Love - R.L.
10 Everything I Do - Bilal & Beyonce
11 Turn the Lights Down Low - Bob Marley & Lauryn Hill
12 Love It - Bilal
13 Beautiful - Mary J. Blige
14 My First Love - Anthony Hamilton f./ LaToiya Williams
15 Love Is What We're Making - R. Kelly
16 25 Reasons - Nivea
17 I'll Make Love To You (Remix) - Boyz II Men (This is the sexiest shit I've heard in the last decade!)
18 Trippin' - Total f./ Missy

Both of these CDs are dedicated to make my off-again-on-again. Hopefully he'll feel them and understand exactly where I was coming from.

Venni Vitti Vicci

The year 2005 was my biggest year of Oops. I had a baby by the cousin of a guy I was pursuing to make him jealous. I ended my relationship with someone that I had been dating on/off since 2000, eventhough he was wonderful and accepted me and my pregnant situation. I started a relationship with my bd until I caught him cheating with one of his other bms (there's seven of us). I ran them off the road at 100 mph. I spent all my savings on my bd who was probably spending on his other bm (who he lives with). I ended up homeless living out of my car, with a baby. I missed tons of school, eventually passing with C's in every class (I'm still not sure how). I ended the year by pursuing the cousin all over again, who played me like 2005 trash as the ball dropped. I celebrated the new year with the on/off guy...which is who I should've been with this whole time. I got issues! I told him that I'm gonna marry him someday, but I guess I gotta get my sh-- together if I'm gonna marry anybody. I've been carrying on like a Jerry Springer guest.